The Truth?

Posted on 18 November 2025 by Gary Skerritt – Meet Your Past

Let’s be honest: when most people start a family-tree project, they’re hoping to find a war hero, a King, a wealthy Victorian landowner, or at the very least, someone who lived in a nice street in West Bridgford.

Sometimes, though, the records tell a different story.

• A bride six months pregnant on her wedding day
• A child registered with no father’s name
• A DNA test that shows Grandad… wasn’t actually Grandad
• An adoption hidden for seventy years

These discoveries are far more common than most people realise. In fact, after twenty years of research I can tell you that roughly one in five of my Nottingham clients discover something unexpected on at least one branch.

So what happens if that turns out to be you?

Family secrets aren’t new: a Victorian example

Discoveries like these often feel shocking to modern families, but they are far from new. Victorian newspapers are full of stories that explain why so many family trees contain missing parents, sudden household changes, or children raised by relatives with no formal paperwork.

The newspaper report above, published in the Evening Post on Friday 28th July 1899 Page 4, describes an informal adoption arrangement that would leave little or no trace in official records. To a modern researcher, this kind of story explains gaps that might otherwise look like mystery or scandal.

When I find clues like this during research, my job isn’t to judge the past but to help clients understand it.

My promise to every client (in plain English)

1. Nothing sensitive ever goes into writing without your say so. If I spot something that could upset the family apple cart, I pick up the phone or book a Zoom call and talk it through with you privately first. No email bombshells. No surprise certificates in the post.
2. You are in complete control. You can decide to:
   • Leave it out completely (the framed tree on your wall shows only the “public” version)
   • Keep it in a private research file for your eyes only
   • Include it fully if you want the true, unfiltered story
   Many clients choose option 1 or 2. A few brave ones choose option 3. All choices are respected.
3. Living people are never contacted without your written permission. If research uncovers a close living relative you didn’t know about – perhaps a half-sibling or first cousin, I will tell you first and wait for your instructions. I never make that phone call or send that message unless you tell me to.
4. The framed heirloom is always the version you are happy to hang on the wall. Your visitors will never see initials, blank spaces, or anything that raises eyebrows unless that’s what you want them to see.

Three real (anonymised) Nottingham examples from the last few years

1. The 1942 “early arrival” A client’s grandmother was supposedly born “two months premature”, except the maths didn’t add up. The marriage certificate showed the couple had only married six weeks before the birth. The client laughed, said “That explains why Nan was always so cheeky!”, and chose to include the correct dates on the chart.
2. The 1890s blank father’s column Great-grandfather was registered at birth with no father listed. Census records later showed the child raised by his grandparents. The client decided to leave the biological father’s space blank on the framed tree and simply wrote “raised with love by…” underneath. It looked beautiful and told the truth without drama.
3. The DNA surprise A client’s Ancestry DNA test showed a completely different paternal grandfather to the one on the birth certificate. After a long chat, we kept the research file 100% private and the framed tree showed the family he grew up with, the family that loved and raised him.

Why I’m completely open about this

Genealogy isn’t just about finding lords and ladies. Sometimes it’s about finding forgiveness, understanding, or simply the courage to say “this happened, and we’re still here”. Afterall, we’re all human and sometimes humans make mistakes.

I’ve seen tears, laughter, and huge relief in the same ten-minute phone call. What I’ve never seen is regret for finding the truth, only regret for those who paid someone else and were left in the dark.

If you’re ready to trace your Nottingham family tree and want someone who’ll treat every discovery whether big, small, happy, or complicated I promise to treat everyone with care and respect.

Book a free 30-minute call and I’ll tell you exactly what’s possible with the names you already know. No obligation, no hard sell, just an honest chat about opening the door to your past.

Because sometimes the biggest surprises are the ones that make the finished family tree mean the most. This approach is the same one I use for all my Nottingham genealogy research.

Gary Skerritt
Meet Your Past – Nottingham
meetyourpast.co.uk | 07980 607610